things are different now...I AM DIFFERENT NOW

I used to be the most optimistic guy you would ever know...but due to all of the circumstances that happened pain has changed me. I AM DIFFERENT NOW.

I could still remember the old days when I thought I've found the one, I used to dream a lot of good things for the both of us; living in one roof together doing chores, eating breakfast lunch till dinner together and actually doing most of the things together happily. I was thinking about cooking his favorite dishes, give him massage when he's tired at work, comfort him when he feels stressed of life and share some steamy nights as well.

I feel really refreshed as i look back on how I was before, when i was so enthusiastic, optimistic and unworried...in other words i miss myself being dumb in love. That really happened a long time now, but as i look back on to those memories I just simply smile and tell myself that things are different now.

So many times that those good dreams were shattered. I tried to dream about the same dreams with every relationship I entered and every person that I was with, but why does it seem like I find it hard for myself to dream of those good things the way I did before?

I've been hurt several times. I cried, went crazy and even lose myself in love and every time those crazy stuff happens I always thank the good Lord that he never fails to send His angels disguised as friends to comfort me whenever I needed the most.

I became tough as I gather all the positive energies that I can obtain from everything. I was able to pick my pieces up and promised not to make whatever mistakes I've made. Yes, I am stronger now but one thing I notice is that it seems like I've lost my appetite in dreaming and turn myself into a doubtful, in denial and distrustful lover... a SKEPTIC.

                                             HOORAY FOR TODAY!

Happy New Year! As I've mentioned to my previous post, 2012 is very promising for great things that are bound to happen. Kaya naman i have decided to leave all the sad feelings behind and move on gradually. I would admit that it's not an easy task and i am still in the process of accepting things over. One had advice me to forget everything that happened...I say 'No!'... i don't want to forget anything that happened however painful it might be because those things won't happen if not attached with good memories na sobrang tinetreasure ko. I would just have to accept things as what they are...na hindi siya para sakin at yun na yon period at huling beses ko ng imemention ang bagay na ito sa page na to.

Sa pagpasok ng 2012...I've come into some realizations that even life is on a shit, still good things happen and most of the time they are being unnoticed or we're lacking some sense of appreciation.

>>had a serious conversation with my boss and have cleared everything why he hated me before...and believe me, though serious ang usapan...hanggang nagyon natatwa padin ako sa mga dahilan kung bakit ayaw niya sa'kin noon. hindi sa lumalaki ang ego ko pero hindi ko lang akalain na yon mismo ang dahilan.

>>sa sobrang lungkot malapit ko ng makuha ang starbucks planner ko YEHEY

>>i have learned that i'm not that strong enough to shoulder all my problems...kailangan ko padin talaga ng ibang tao para gumaan ang loob ko.salamat sa mga kaibigan ko.

>>natuto ako'ng uminom ng may problema...hindi ko talaga gusto ang konsepto na yon pero naiintindihan ko na kung bakit ginagawa yon. mas masarap palang maglabas ng sama ng loob pag nakainom...parang pag iniyak at sinabi mo lahat ang gaan sa pakiramdam.

>>my boss and i get along so well na. wala na yung bigat feeling on how he treat me before. we talk about serious things, mga kabaklaan at mga kaemohan and we go out almost everyday with the team and i know everybody is enjoying.

The new year has brought a lot of new things to think over...mga opportunities na hinihintay lang na igrab pero nakakalito din lalo na kung nakapag-plot ka na ng plano noon sa utak mo. Nakakainis kaya natuto na rin akong humingi ng advice from people who have taken the same path and of course the final decision will still be up to me.

Sabi sa chinese horoscope ko, 2012 is a year of transformation for me...



ANONG NAMAN KLASENG TRANSFORMATION KAYA YON?LOL





(akala ko nawala ang draft ko ng new year post ko kaya nalate...inupdate ko n din with current happenings hehe...)